After working from 5 am to 1 pm straight I stumbled upon these thoughts I'd written a year ago! They got me out of my chair and off on the most awesome biking adventure with Jesus ever!
He led me on a new trail ...to a plantation I've never been to before where I spent a couple hours checking out the different front porch chairs as I dialogued with Him while reading through my Bible, ...to a bookstore where I read the first chapter of a book written by a woman who'd survived the Rwanda massacre and through Jesus found strength to forgive, ...then on a new way home that took me by an old African American graveyard ...and we ended up in an amazing community rose garden - where hundreds of roses of all different hues were blooming like crazy. Is my soul ever refreshed!
And I probably would've missed it all if I hadn't read this...! Thank you Lord!
Last summer was intense. I wrote a Bible study one step ahead of the 100 staff and students using it, met with six women and helped my husband provide five meals a week (one for all 100 people) and direct a summer training program. I honestly thought, “As long as I spend good time with the Lord and with my husband I’ll be fine.” So each day I took care to enjoy extended time with Jesus and with my husband. By the end of the summer my relationship with them both was strong. But I was not.
Spiritually and relationally my life had been enriched, but emotionally I was depleted. It didn’t take long until that began impacting everything else!
When I opened up the Word, I felt dry inside. It was hard to concentrate. How could I feel so close to the Lord yet be struggling so? When I cried out to the Lord for understanding He gave me the analogy of a car. You can have a tank full of gas, and an engine in top working order but if the battery goes dead you aren’t going anywhere. That battery represented my emotional well-being . I’d neglected to recharge my battery throughout the summer.
Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.” There are times in following Him when we need to sacrifice sleep, food and fun. But doing that on a regular basis is not denying myself, it’s denying my humanity. I am not God. I was created with limits. And with needs!
This past year has been a journey of recovery – and learning how human I am.
It’s also an adventure in learning what I spent last summer neglecting – namely, the power of pleasure.
God created pleasure and it was good. He created us to need pleasure. But more than anything He created us to need Him. We get in trouble when our priorities are misplaced. When we pursue Him first, there is incredible pleasure. As the psalmist says, “In your presence there is fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16:11). But when pleasure takes precedent, when it becomes what we primarily seek, what was created as good gets warped…and becomes destructive.
Pleasure was never meant to be the goal, but rather a blessing received on the way. One that is powerfully potent. In it’s proper place it recharges and refreshes… especially emotionally. We need this. We were created to need this. Seritonin is a chemical that is released in our bodies when we experience pleasure. Without pleasure this becomes depleted and weariness, lethargy, and depression set in.
True, perverted from its original goal, pleasure can wreck great havoc in a life. Recognizing this, pleasure often gets a bad rap and is neglected.
It wasn’t even on my radar screen as a need.
But here’s the kicker – I need to be emotionally healthy to do what God has called me to do, to be available to Him. I need pleasure to remain emotionally healthy. But if I make it my goal to pursue pleasure that doesn’t do the trick! I need to follow God first even in this. So you’d think making time alone with Him a priority would have taken care of this!
But there is an enemy who is so deceiving who does not want my battery charged. In his hands is a potent tool called, “should.”
For example, last week I needed to pick up a charger for my phone. On the way back the thought came to mind, “What fun to stop in at the apple barn and get an apple dumpling.” I love those! But then I thought, “Everyone else is working so hard to get this summer training program going, I should return and see what I can do to help.” And what was crazy – there ended up not being anything for me to do when I returned! I drove right by God’s gift to me.
Because I haven’t valued pleasure, I’ve been an easy prey to rob. And it doesn’t just rob me, when I get emotionally depleted it robs those around me too!
Last summer I walked right by many of God’s provisions.
Now I am crying out, asking Him to give me a heads up so I don’t fall prey to the "shoulds."
(NOTE:written after reading Gary Thomas' book Pure Pleasure - highly recommend!)
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